??Journey or destination??

Exploring life experiences at home and beyond – Destination Happiness

Should I stay or should I go?

9 Comments

I’ve been absent from the blog world (or let’s say not as engaged as I enjoy being) in the past few months. I thought being on a traveling holiday I’d have so much time to write and read. Reality was, it gave me enough antidotes and material for a long, long time.  Reality was I spent so much time with my mouth agape in wonder as I raced around not wanting to miss one thing that in fact I had little time for those things. My mind is over-brimming with such wonderful memories.

But I’m back in the real world and have time to dabble again.
Today I was reading through a blog I follow “Me – Who am I?” and then started to reflect. I started writing a comment but it turned into a bit of a novelette so I’ve put it here instead. Take time first to read the blog post here to put my comment in context .
Hi,
I too have experienced moments when I’d love to run away but I know I’d be back so fast- before people even realised I’d actually gone, but I think it’s selfish reasons that may keep us (me) here.
Do we stay because we need the love and support of a few close people to help us wander through this odd thing we call life – or do we stay to help others battle through and be their prop? Do we stay, maybe, so at the end we aren’t alone – or do we really stay so at the end we can offer comfort to others in our final moments? The first thoughts are ‘about me’ reasons in my opinion. The question I ask is – Should we stay to stop pain for others – or go and be true to ourselves?
Could running away not be ‘reinventing yourself’ rather allowing yourself to be who you want to be, not who you are expected to be?
I’m a stayer, I like order and I’m not a risk taker. Jumping can mean a fall for the cautious while others may be willing to take the chance they will have a strong enough leap.
So, would I want a loved one to leave if that’s what they know they must do for their happiness?
I’d like to think I’d much rather see a loved one move on leaving me behind to seek their happiness even if that life can’t contain me for whatever reason, than stay merely out of a sense of duty – for in doing that they are living my dreams not their own -but a goodbye would be nice because I like order in everything including ending (selfishly).
But…if it’s my kids – well I shall stalk them to the end of the world and back!! Nothing will ever be large enough for them to hide behind from me hahaha (selfish!! YES!! )
And… a chance to use one of my photos of the sun rising over Mt Vesuvius and the Bay of Naples- a volcano that in its time has left man in pain and total destruction.friends

Your thoughts?

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Author: Travelling Macs

A mum to 2 grown up children who always make me proud, a wife and a full time school teacher. I love eating great food but am not motivated to cook. Love traveling around this great country in which I live. Often found traveling with my husband Brian. I write for pleasure and if it's read (and enjoyed) by others then that's a bonus! 2014 saw me begin the 'new' me. Working hard at leaving the fear of 'what if' behind and replacing it with YOLO adventures. :)

9 thoughts on “Should I stay or should I go?

  1. Lovely thoughts. I love to visit your blog space here! X

  2. Its an interesting question. I think we mix up ‘being selfish’ and ‘looking out for ourselves’. To be the best for our loved ones, we need to be the best self we can be, if that makes sense. and to do that, we have to truly know who we are.
    I have found that my solo travels have given me the time and space to work out who I am, so I think I’m better able to understand that my grown children are unique people to be enjoyed, not just copies of me. This kind of running away, to me, is about looking out for yourself.
    There come times, though, where loved ones need you, physically and emotionally. It is at these times, that sense of self knowledge actually stands you in good stead to help others deal with pain and loss. It’s a time for family closeness. It would be selfish to run then.
    And now my comment is also a blog! x

  3. Both posts are very interesting. I think it is most important to stay honest to ourselves and act from there.

    I would not like anyone to stay together with me, if they have other dreams and wishes for their lives. Neither would I appreciate to stay, if I feel that I need to leave to live my life in the right way for me.

  4. You have some good perspectives here. I think for each person it’s different. The many times that I wanted to run away, I never did, but it was not for selfish reasons. I refused to hurt my loved ones in such a way. If they wouldn’t have cared, I would have been gone in a heartbeat. It was also never a concern of mine that if I left I would find myself all alone. In fact, all alone was exactly what I wanted and I was sure that if that ever changed that I could find people to not be ‘so alone’ with.

    As far as keeping others from leaving… I feel that everyone is welcome to leave. Each person deserves happiness and no one should ever stand in the way of that. With that said however, if by leaving the person places false blame on their loved ones for their self-imposed issues and drags them through the mud on their way out, that’s a different story entirely. Yes, people can leave and by all means we should let them. But, the person leaving should never try to justify their actions by brainwashing themselves into believing that the people who loved them, in reality (their reality) wanted nothing to do with them and ‘secretly’ wanted them to leave. There’s a fine line when it comes to the mental health of a person. Once they cross that line to other side, it’s very hard to get them back. I feel helpless having seen this person go this route, but unfortunately people have to change themselves. They have to want change.

  5. I guess this is different for each person and their circumstances. I and 3 of my siblings left Hobart as young adults in the 70s for broader opportunities. I looked forward to the adventure and had not a thought for my parents who supported our going. Now I am aware of what it must have been like for them and I am very grateful that my married children live in the same city as me.
    Though I know of some parents who made it very hard for their children to leave. I am very grateful to my parents.

    • It’s interesting how our view points about our parents change once we walk in their shoes. Though hard on your parents I guess they were also pleased to see you and your siblings having worthwhile lives and great opportunities 🙂

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